I’m not going to lie. I feel like I’m the lowest in my moods than I have been in a while. One reason why. Men. Relationships. They suck. They make you feel awful. Brought my mood down loads and thats why I’ve had not motivation and I just feel so sad to do anything.
However,on a lighter note! I finally got into my third year of university of thinking I wasn’t going to pass. I could of cried but I didn’t cause I realised I should start my dissertation right now and I started to panic. I also got the job I really wanted. Finally going somewhere in my life. I saw my Derby friends yesterday and went to Derby for a meeting for my society and that cheered me up. I’m trying not to be sad but I don’t feel as sad as I did before when everything went (sorry) to shit. I’ve learnt my self worth and that I need to be happy. I’m going away to Dorset for 3 weeks which is very well needed. I’m tempted to turn off every kind of communication with anyone and live my life. Sometimes I hate mobile phones and social media. Makes life hell to be honest. I’m going to see The Addams Family Musical and Olly Murs so I’m very excited.
I’ve decided to sort out what I hate about myself and hate about my life. People,weight,looks,hair,clothes. I’m counting down the days until I can finally move back to Derby. It’s where I feel safe,happy and never alone. Only just over a month left until I can move into my nice,new and very pretty house with my new house mates. That’ll do me some good. Fresh starts and that. Sorry about me being sad.
I’m 21 years old and I’ve just figured out what I want to do with my life. Past week I’ve been questioning everything. I’ve questioned me being a university,people in my life and things about myself. Today a job advert came up by the university and I read over and went ‘this is what I want to do in my life’
I’ve decided that I want to go into social media and marketing. I’ve worked events since 17 and enjoyed it so much. I’ve ran Facebook accounts and YouTube channels for other people and events and I thought why am I not going into this as a job? I love film I really do but I don’t see myself having a future in it. I can’t find a job in the industry that I am 100% set on and I don’t think there’s a job out there for me in film. I would love to be in marketing. I’m currently Derby SU Rock Society’s social secretary and everything that job in tales is what carer I want.
I’ve spent the day applying for two jobs from the university and redoing my CV for it to fit with marketing and events. I then googled the actual title of the job and found an internship in Manchester and applied. I found out that boohoo.com want creative content employees and got sad that I can’t apply for it at the moment. I’m thinking of moving to Manchester after university because all these jobs seem to be in the bigger cities and the only city that comes up is Manchester. Maybe I’ve found my happiness.
My next step is to cut out the people in my life that make me unhappy and sort out what bothers me about myself. Which is my weight. I’ve been doing walks and visiting my friends. I need to sort out my mental health. Been having panic attacks and down days lately but I’ve been taking myself to the cinema and stuff to keep myself busy. I love being independent.
Finally feeling happy. Scared it won’t last but happy for now. Need a shop for office clothes at this rate!