I’m not going to lie. I feel like I’m the lowest in my moods than I have been in a while. One reason why. Men. Relationships. They suck. They make you feel awful. Brought my mood down loads and thats why I’ve had not motivation and I just feel so sad to do anything.
However,on a lighter note! I finally got into my third year of university of thinking I wasn’t going to pass. I could of cried but I didn’t cause I realised I should start my dissertation right now and I started to panic. I also got the job I really wanted. Finally going somewhere in my life. I saw my Derby friends yesterday and went to Derby for a meeting for my society and that cheered me up. I’m trying not to be sad but I don’t feel as sad as I did before when everything went (sorry) to shit. I’ve learnt my self worth and that I need to be happy. I’m going away to Dorset for 3 weeks which is very well needed. I’m tempted to turn off every kind of communication with anyone and live my life. Sometimes I hate mobile phones and social media. Makes life hell to be honest. I’m going to see The Addams Family Musical and Olly Murs so I’m very excited.
I’ve decided to sort out what I hate about myself and hate about my life. People,weight,looks,hair,clothes. I’m counting down the days until I can finally move back to Derby. It’s where I feel safe,happy and never alone. Only just over a month left until I can move into my nice,new and very pretty house with my new house mates. That’ll do me some good. Fresh starts and that. Sorry about me being sad.
I was having a good think the other day after me and my best friend talk about our future all the time. I was having a think and I think I now know what I want for in 5 years time. I thought I’d write a blog post about it so I could come back in 5 years and see if my goals happened and write about what has happened.
- I would love to graduate from university. At the moment I feel like its not going to happen. I don’t feel good enough for university but let’s see if it’ll actually happen. I hope so. I choose my dress.
- I wouldn’t mind having a flat with my friends in 5 years time. I’m thinking of moving into a bigger city like Manchester so I have a better job opportunities especially in the job that I want. I know that straight after university I’d like to move in with a few friends.
- I want to be driving. I better be driving. I want that independence. It annoys me now cause all I want is to pick up my friends and go somewhere for the day and make memories. I wanted to start at 17 but it just never happened.
- I want to be in a relationship. That would be nice. I’ll be 26 I better be in a relationship god damn it. Wouldn’t mind being engaged but that’s wishful thinking.
- I want to loose my weight. I don’t mind the size I am now but I wouldn’t mind a thinner face and a flatter belly. I like being curvy but I feel like I don’t look healthy.
- I want to be a full time job in marketing and social media. That’s the main goal right now is breaking into the industry and finding my feet.
- Not a big goal but I want to get more tattoos. I want my leg covered. I want to be a human canvas.
Let’s come back in 5 years and see whats happens!